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On decisions

You were endowed by your mother with a conscience, and while it is the most powerful tool and your only direct line with God, it is unfortunately the hardest to follow. So quite simply always follow your conscience and always take the hard way first. I'm positive about this one. Oh, an always answer the telephone whether you want to or not. Facing problems will get rid of them sooner. I always called it facing the monkey. Supposedly the monkey is that thing you don’t want to face or deal with. Most times when you face the monkey outright the problem turns out to be much less dreadful than you thought.

Carol Gilligan, a psychologist in the field of moral development, argued that when it comes to making decisions, women tend to hesitate in choosing what to do because they see the complexity of relationships and want to know more about the situation. She found that women carry out their actions with compassion due to a “motherly instinct”, while men tend to stick to the justice perspective. Men carry out their actions based on what is imposed by authority or moral rules which they apply in every context, while women see it in terms of responsibility toward individuals and willingness to make sacrifices in order to help the individual, compassion is a more salient factor for females.

At 42 (Because for this segment I am that old)

This is how to solve any problem. First ask yourself if there is a classic solution. If there isn't, then consider either waiting till the next day and maybe a solution will occur to you. Sometimes when we let a problem rest in our heads, the solution pops up naturally because we start thinking about it in a different way. If that doesn't work, see if you know someone who you think might know the answer. Usually an authority on the subject might know what the best solution is, or might guide you in that direction. Another source is doing a search in the internet. Lets say you have to choose something and don't know what to choose. Ask an authority and see what they use and what they suggest is the best. Remember they have been in the subject area for longer than you have and at least will know what is better than most.

One of Great Hard Lessons of Life

The tough thing is that life teaches you lessons by causing pain. This means that there is really no easy way or shortcut to learn things. This said, whenever you have a problem, don’t cross your bridges until you get to them. My brother always used to say: “Nada se traga tan caliente como se cocina.”

On studying

Study as much as you can and never procrastinate. The sooner you start the closer the end. Do the hardest first. Disobey your mind when it creates excuses for why you can’t do it now-or why it might be better to do it later. Learn to recognize escapes from the true task at hand. Try to group your studies together, rather than have them split up. Do your studies as quickly as possible, while you are fresh and still remember. Later it will be impossible. Do your work neatly and cleanly and concentrate on making it work first. Deal with the appearance later.

Also, look for the toughest learning institution you can. You will emerge better for it.

On basic things that you should study and know

This is an ample topic, but by knowing these things, even if superficially, you will be better armed to cope with life.

Study some thermodynamics, mostly because just about everything depends on thermodynamics. Remember that all transfer occurs due to a concentration difference - this is the key to understanding. Remember that Entropy means disorder and that all processes in life increase entropy. This in itself, aside from being overwhelming in significance, is profoundly philosophical.

Learn economics, accounting, mathematics, cooking, organic chemistry, circuit analysis and typing. The cream of the cake is to take as much humanities as you can (art, Greek mythology, music etc.) Know some basic and emergency medicine. If you have the will, learn at least three languages. I recommend English, Spanish and German. As my mother used to say "The more tongues you speak the more people you are."

Remember that nothing is free and that the only truly philanthropists in your life are your father and mother. When you must choose between them, choose your mother. She is permanently bonded to you because she made you and is the ultimate trustable entity.

Steer away from people who offer things which are unbelievable because they probably are. Be most careful of the "poor man" who offers you the shirt off his back. Everyone has a hidden agenda in every situation. Be keen to find out those agendas and you will be much safer.

Lastly remember that nobody knows the whole truth-nobody owns the truth. Even Einstein made mistakes.

Some practical psychology

"Insanity is the repetition of the same behavior expecting different results."
From the movie 28 days

Freud said that every action taken by a human being is in direct effort to reduce perceived anxiety. You eat, sleep, marry, shit, work etc. in order to reduce anxiety. Thus, if you ever wonder how someone will act or why, you know the motive. Most people have a fatal flaw, so learn to spot them early on. For example: A person who competes excessively does so because of an inferiority complex. A person who can never say “no” does so because he unconsciously wants to be accepted. (I am like this)

Remember that no matter what any human being does, it has a reason. Human behavior always has a reason. There are four primary needs that a human has, and if these needs are tended to, the human will live a well-balanced life.

1. The need to live - Physical existence and health are the basis of happiness. If the want to live is not present, happiness is not present.

2. The need to feel important - What is the purpose of chrome, gold and diamonds? Is it not status?

3. The need to be loved.

4. The need for variety - Men have it easy to marry, as many times as they want, women don't.

To understand a person you must understand what he wants. If a person has made any adjustments in his life there must be a reason for each. Since we know that all adjustments are learned, by studying the way a person learns (and what he has learned) we may get to know that person better.

Read these two narratives about The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden and larn a little more about yoursef.

Here are some interesting statistics:

Out of 25 children in a schoolyard:

2 will be hospitalized for insanity

4 will become profoundly neurotic

4 will become deeply neurotic

4 will become mildly neurotic

8-10 will stay normal

All sane people want to live. Only the insane want to die. Insanity is a form of adjustment, one cant be born insane. Nervous breakdowns don't exist. Your nerves don't break down; it’s just an adjustment.

There are some questions, which we each can ask about our lives in order that we may see if all is well. They are listed below, ask them of yourself:

1. Are you happy? (Happiness is a result)

2. Do you have a zest for living?

3. Are you socially adjusted?

4. Do you have unity and balance?

5. Can you deal with each problem in your life as it happens?

6. Do you have insight into your own behavior?

7. Do you have a confidential relationship with some other person?

8. Do you have a sense of humor? Can you laugh?

9. Are you engaged in satisfying work?

10. Do you know how to worry effectively?

Remember that it costs so much to be a full human being that there are very few that have the enlightenment or the courage to pay the price. One has to abandon altogether the search for security and reach out to the risk of living with both arms. One has to embrace the World like a lover. One has to accept pain as a condition of existence. One has to count doubt and darkness as the cost of knowing. One needs a will stubborn in conflict, but apt always to total acceptance of every consequence of living and dying.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross, in her book on Death and Dying wrote that a person goes through the following five stages while dying:

denial

anger

bargaining

depression

acceptance

"There is no hunting like the hunting of man and those who have hunted armed men long enough and liked it, never really care for anything else.” Hemmingway